My second draft for Nothing Good Happens on a Tuesday, the lack or limited, as I said, amount of notes stem from it really needing many notes. I asked friends to read this version, though only one managed to due to time constraints of their own deadlines. The feedback my friend gave me were mostly similar to my tutors – the penultimate scene not making sense. Although, she mentioned that Hana should be more caring when she learns about Arielle’s pregnancy scare. Anyway, the feedback I received from my tutor were regarding some of the dialogue scenes being too ‘on-the-nose’, near the end there are a lot of dialogue scenes that go against the 1st acts action heavy scenes (I included a few more scenes, both present and past narrative, focusing on action to break up the dialogue), the later scenes contract against my 1st acts economical style of writing and it didn’t need as much direction, and furthermore I needed to check some of the grammar and slang in the scenes.
Back to the penultimate scene: with this I wanted to show that Arielle had moved on from Hana, and her and Drew had broken up but were still good friends (note: I forgot to write in Arielle and Drew not wearing their wedding rings). However, Drew being in the picture or scene was confusing and to get the message that they were only friends but still living together, albeit in a different place did not come across.